Testimonials
Heart full of Love — Soul full of Courage.
An Open Letter to New Foster Parents
It is nights like this that things like housework, the economy and world peace don't hold a candle to what I have experienced. I just spent the last 1.5 hours cradling a 6 yr. old boy in my arms, and watched as he drifted off to sleep.
My heart melted every time he told me he loved me as I hugged him and ran my fingers through his hair as he fought off the sandman.
As I write this email to you the tears fall down my cheeks as I feel the impact of the last 6 months come crashing down on me. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine the impact a tiny stranger could have on my life. How could a small child belonging to someone else find his way into my heart and cause me such sadness as I prepare to let him go?
I knew going into fostering there would be moments like this, but I did not think they would happen so soon. I thought maybe my 10th child or 50th child might affect me this deeply but to think that my 3rd child would... boggles my mind.
Thinking back to the first day I set eyes on the siblings, I wondered if I had bitten off more then I could chew. I remember repeating to both you and their worker that "I had a three day return policy" with these kids. Who would have thought that 6 months later I cringe at even the notion of anyone taking him away from me, yet I have no choice.
I will always remember my foster son's free spirit and his big eyes and that great smile he has. I will think with a chuckle of the days he would bust through the door after school announcing he had a horrible day, but was quick to ask what was to eat (he,he,he). My memories of him playing 'art attack' with his clothes on his bedroom floor and begging me to take pictures of his creativity, or the look in his eyes on Christmas morning when we got him his new bike. Even the worst days quickly faded with his infectious laughter that came deep from within.
Sadly, Levi has touched me too soon and I am unable to do anything about it. I feel the sadness and the seeming betrayal from the system that is suppose to fix the wrongs in these kids lives. I grieve his loss and ours too. We are sending away a son even though we never gave bith to him. He calls my husband 'dad' to everyone that will listen and his friends at school refer to me as "his new mom". We never asked him to call us mom and dad and never even imagined he would think of us as that either. But fate does funny things, and to Levi we were the best parents he could have.
We will always remember the drawings in his journal where he referred to as his family. The teacher recalls fondly as he named off all 6 people in the picture as those who reside in my home; plus 4 pokemon characters as his 4 siblings instead of the 4 sisters he doesn't like to acknowledge.
A huge void will be left in my heart when he is gone at the end of this month. A little boy is going away and he will be sadly missed. He will never fully understand the impact he has made on our lives; will we ever fully understand the impact we made on his? We can only hope that he holds us close to his heart as we will always hold him.
Thank you for allowing me to make a difference in one childs life . . . I now know we were meant to be foster parents... no matter the emotions. We look forward to the next f/child and hope that we can make as much of a difference in his life as well.
Sincerely,
Kathy